The kill
by jwg676
Summary: Naruto and how he handles his first kill


**Title:** The kill

**Rating:** G

**Pairing / Characters: **Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, Hatake Kakashi, Tsunade

**Word Count: **649 words

**Warnings: **Nothing I can think of

**Summary: **Naruto's first kill and how he handles it

**A/N: **This is a shortie, but a goodie. If the ending seems abrupt its because I totally lost my train of thought and had to suck something out of my thumb so hopefully it didn't come out too bad!

"_between the knuckles, along the inside of the fingers and over the fingertips, scrub the nails over and over and over, across the palms and the backs of the hands, up the wrists, wash and scrub, nailbrush and soap, between the knuckles, along the inside of the fingers and over the fingertips, scrub the nails over and over and over, across the palms and the backs of the hands, up the wrists, wash and scrub, nailbrush and soap …"_

'Naruto. Naruto, stop now.'

Naruto only looked up when a hand reached out and switched off the water, only mildly annoyed at the interruption.

'I'm washing the blood off my hands,' he said stupidly.

The voice was gentle. 'Naruto, your hands are clean.'

Naruto blinked. So they were. Pink, raw in some places from the heat of the water and the nailbrush, but otherwise clean. Why then, he wondered, could he still feel the slippery blood of the nin he had killed only two hours ago?

Sakura put her arm around his shoulder. 'Come on, Naruto. Let me have a look at your injuries.'

Naruto caught sight of their reflections in the mirror and laughed suddenly, barely able to stop the hysterical sound.

'You look funny, Sakura-chan. Your eyes are all shiny.'

'It's ok,' Sakura whispered, wiping her eyes. 'Don't worry about it. Kakashi-sensei is waiting outside.'

Placidly, Naruto allowed himself to be escorted out of the bathroom and down the hallway where he could see his sensei leaning against the wall.

Suddenly feeling sick, Naruto sat down on the bench beside Kakashi, watching as he shoed Sakura away, telling her to wait down the corridor before he sat down.

'Tell me what happened, Naruto.'

'They were waiting outside Ichiraku for me. I knew I was being followed so I lured them out to the river. Two of them ran away but the other one didn't and I… I…'

'You killed him.' Kakashi's voice was just as gentle as Sakura's had been.

Naruto nodded, hands clasped tightly together, staring down at the floor.

'He looked funny, Kakashi-sensei. His eyes were staring up at the sky and his mouth was all funny and there was blood on his cheek and I tried to wipe it away but I lost my balance and I fell and I had to put my hands on him to get back up and – '

Naruto could feel the tears on his cheeks but didn't realize at first that he was crying.

'My kunai was in his throat and I could feel how afraid he was and I still killed him instead of letting him run away…'

Kakashi put his arms around him and Naruto leaned his head against his sensei's arm, his chest heaving with the force of his sobs.

'I won't forget, I won't forget it. I'll never be able to sleep again without seeing his face and feeling his blood on my hands…'

A hand was laid against his forehead but Naruto barely felt it, oblivious to Tsunade's healing chakra as she coerced his mind to rest. He kept talking, just as unaware that he was saying the same thing over and over, until his eyes began to slide shut.

Dimly aware of hands cradling him, of movement, Naruto felt himself being lowered onto a soft bed, hearing a voice praising him for his actions, praising him for defending Konohagakure, for being an excellent shinobi.

As wonderful as the praise was, Naruto knew that he would never really forget his first kill. Better than anyone, he knew how precious life was.

'I will run straight down a path of no regrets… this is my way of the ninja…'

As sleep finally claimed him, Naruto wondered if taking human life was something he was supposed to regret, or if he was supposed to remain true to himself and eventually forget what it meant to live.


End file.
